(only for the pucker loving) Lemon Squares

I can't take credit for this recipe, at all. I've tried dozens of lemon square recipes over the years and never loved any of them. The crust was either too soggy, or rock hard, and so often the lemon filling would be bland and get a crust over the top, neither of which is appealing. Then, I picked up the America's Test Kitchen Spring Entertaining magazine and there it was, the perfect lemon square recipe. At least for me.

Be warned, this baby is sour, but only the filling. The crust is light and sweet and just crispy enough, and that counters the tart lemon curd beautifuly.

These aren't Oliver approved though, even though I made them specifically for him. This is a child whose favorite snack at a restaurant is the raw lemon slices. Like, he eats them clean. I'm not sure what the deal is: were they too tart for him?  too sweet? Or was it just too close to bed time and he was already fussy? Yeah, I'm leaning toward that last one too.

Enough jabbering!

Creamy Lemon Squares

Prep Time: 15 minutes
Bake Time: 20 minutes + 15 minutes
Makes: 9 generous squares

Ingredients:
 
For the crust:
1¼ c all purpose flour
½ c icing sugar
12 tbsp cold butter, cut into 12 pieces
pinch of salt

For the lemon curd:
4 large eggs
3 egg yolks
1 c white sugar
pinch of salt
1 tbsp grated lemon zest
⅔ c lemon juice (about 4 large lemons squeezed)
2 tbsp butter, cut into 2 pieces
2 tbsp heavy cream
icing sugar for dusting

Directions:

1. Pre-heat the oven to 350˚F. Line a 9" square baking pan with 2 strips of foil so that you have an overhang of a couple of inches on all four sides.

2. Start with the crust. In a food processor, pulse the flour, sugar and salt a couple of times to combine. Add the butter and pulse until the mixture resembles coarse meal (about 15 one second pulses). You want it to look powdery but hold it's shape when pressed together between your fingers. If it isn't, add 1 more tbsp of butter and pulse a few more times.

3. Press the crust mixture into the prepared pan and bake for about 20 minutes, until light golden brown (check it at 15 minutes to be safe).

4. While the crust is baking, start making the curd. Zest and juice your lemons. In a medium saucepan whisk together the eggs, yolks, sugar and salt. Add the zest and juice, then cook over medium-low heat, stirring constantly, until it thickens. This takes about 8 to 10 minutes. You want the curd thick enough that when you put a spoon in it and draw a line through the curd stuck to the back of the spoon, nothing bleeds into that line. THICK!

5. Pour the curd through a strainer into a medium bowl to get out the zest and any cooked bits of egg. Don't skip this step! Once you strain it you'll see why (and all kinds of junky stuff you couldn't see in the curd in the pan). Stir in the butter and heavy cream, then pour the strained curd over the hot crust and return to the oven for another 15 minutes, until set.

6. Let the pan cool for at least an hour on a cooling rack before removing the squares (via foil sling). Dust the top with icing sugar, and enjoy!

NOTE: These will last for up to 3 days in an air tight container in the fridge. That is, if no one know they're there, because for lemon lovers, they'll be gone in seconds!

Home Made Flakey's

I really wasn't sure what this was last night, and it took me looking at the pictures this morning again to figure out what exactly I'd concocted. What it was was a flakey, and a delicious one at that! Don't be scared off by the strange line drawings, it was easier to draw it out then explain it, and this really is one of the easiest treats to make!

Home Made Flakey's

Prep Time: 10 minutes (unless you make your own curd)
Bake Time: 20 minutes + 5 minutes
Makes: 4 servings

Ingredients:


1 sheet of pre-made puff pastry dough (in the freezer asle)
1 egg, beaten
large decorating sugar
½ c lemon curd, berry curd, or jam of your choice
2 egg whites
pinch of cream of tartar
¼ c of sugar

Directions:


1. Pre-heat your oven according to the directions on the box of puff pastry (usually 350°F), and line a cookie sheet with parchment paper.

2. Unroll the sheet of pastry, and following the diagrams below, cut into four rectangles and extra edging pieces. Brush the edges of all pieces with the beaten egg, then place the edging pieces onto the main squares. You're basically framing the squares of puff pastry to make a little "boat" once it cooks.

3. Brush the edges again with the beaten egg, then sprinkle with the large decorating sugar. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, until lightly golden and puffed.

4. While the pastry is baking, make the meringue. Beat together the egg whites and cream of tartar until starting to foam. Gradually add the sugar, then continue to beat until stiff peaks form.

5. When the pastry is cooked, push down the inside of the "boats" with the back of a spoon. Split the curd or jam between the four "boats", spreading in an even layer. Top with meringue, then return to the oven for an additional 5 minutes, until the peaks are just turning golden.

Enjoy!

 Puff Pastry Cutting Diagrams:

Start out with a whole sheet of pastry

Cut into quarters.

Here are the quarters.

Cut the edges of each of the quarters like this.

Discard the filled in squares, you don't need them.

After brushing the edges with the beaten eggs, lay the cut edges on top of the main square as shows above. Then, brush these edges with egg again and sprinkle with the sugar.

Nan's Buttertarts

Buttertarts

This is my great-grandmothers recipe for buttertarts, and it's so simple that I almost feel like they can't possibly be as good as they are. And they are good. I'm currently trying to find a fair to enter them in (because yeah, on my bucket list, right next to making it into the Guiness Book of World Records for anything, is to win a blue ribbon at a country fair. I think these are my ticket).

I made these a week and a half ago, and I know that I've got at least one more pack of frozen tart shells in my freezer, so it's been a battle of the wills to not make at least another dozen. Can this (with it's butter and milk) count as a serving of dairy? Half a serving?

Oh yeah, these are definitely Oliver approved too!

Without further ado...

Prep Time: 10 minutes
Bake Time: 28 minutes
Makes: 24 tarts (standard size)

Ingredients:



2/3 c butter, softened
2 c brown sugar
2 eggs
4 tbsp milk
2 tsp vanilla
walnut pieces (optional)

Directions:

1. Preheat your oven to 450°F and prepare your tart shells.


2. Cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy


3. Add the eggs, milk and vanilla and mix until well combined.


4. Drop a few nuts (if using) into the bottom of your prepared tart shells (or your tenderflake ones from the freezer, like I do). Fill each shell with 1 tbsp of filling

5. Bake at 450°F for 8 minutes, then reduce the oven temperature to 350°F (do not remove the tarts) and continue baking for another 15 to 20 minutes, until golden brown.


NOTE: At 15 minutes, your filling will be runny, at 20 minutes it will be firm. I'm a firm filling person (as were the folks here at the office, who have been harassing me all week to bring in more), so I strongly suggest going that route.

Texas Chocolate Sheet Cake

Texas Sheet Cake

Can I put this under snacks? Because seriously, I could graze on it all. damn. day.

Prep Time: 20 minutes
Bake Time: 20 minutes
Serves: 10 (unless I'm there, then pretty much only me)

Ingredients:


Cake
2 cups flour
2 cups white sugar
¼ tsp salt
7 tbsp cocoa powder
1 cup butter (16 tbsp or 2 sticks)
1 cup boiling water
½ cup buttermilk
2 eggs, beaten
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp vanilla
½ tbsp espresso powder (optional)

Frosting
1 cup finally chopped pecans, toasted (optional)
14 tbsp butter (1¾ stick)
6 tbsp cocoa powder
6 tbsp milk
1 tsp vanilla
3½ cups confectioners sugar

Directions:


1. Preheat your oven to 350°F.

2. In a mixing bowl, combine the flour, sugar and salt.

3. In a saucepan over med-high heat, melt the butter, then stir in the cocoa. Pour in the boiling water and boil, stirring for about a minute, then take it off the heat and pour it over the flour mixture. Give it a good stir.

4. In a small bowl, mix together the buttermilk, eggs, baking soda and vanilla. Stir this into the chocolate flour mixture.

5. Poor into a sheet cake pan and bake for 20 minutes.

6. While the cake it baking, make the icing. In a sauce pan over med-high heat melt the butter, then stir in the cocoa powder, stir to combine, then take off the heat. Add the milk, vanilla and confectioners sugar, stirring well to combine. Stir in the pecans. Pour the icing over the hot cake.

TRICK: If you don't have buttermilk, simply put 1 tbsp of lemon juice or vinegar into your measuring cup, then fill up with regular milk and give it a quick stir. Let it sit for 5 minutes and, presto, buttermilk!

NOTE: This cake does fit in a sheet pan (think for jelly rolls), but barely. Take your time with the icing, you'll have to scoop it back onto the cake as it approaches the edges. It's fine if some hits the counter though, because then you can just eat it yourself!

Credit where it's due: I originally got this recipe from http://thepioneerwoman.com then made a few of my own changes.

Monkey Bread

Monkey Bread

First off, a warning. This takes some time...like...a lot of time. It's totally worth it though, and with the cold weather coming, well, this is going to be a staple for the night we decide to stay in and watch all those old Christmas movies with Oliver (remember Frosty and Rudolph!). It's worth it, but it's definitely for those special weekends where you've got a day to devote. Oh but is it worth it!

Prep Time: 1 hour, 30 minutes
Total Time: 3 hours, 30 minutes + cooling time
Serves: 8

Ingredients:


Dough:

1 cup whole milk, warm

1/3 c water, warm

4 tbsp butter, melted

3 tbsp honey

3¾ c bread flour

2¼ tsp (1 envelope) instant or rapid rise yeast

2 tsp salt

Topping:

7 tbsp butter, melted, plus extra for the pan

1 tbsp vanilla extract

¾ c granulated sugar

½ c packed light brown sugar

¾ c pecan pieces, toasted and chopped fine (optional)

2 tbsp cinnamon

¼ tsp salt

Directions:

For the dough:

1. Whisk the milk, water, 3 tbsp of the butter, and honey together in a large liquid measuring cup. Mix 3½ cups of the flour, the yeast and the salt together in a stand mixer fitted with the dough hook. With the mixer on low speed, add the milk mixture and mix until the dough comes together, about 1 minute.

2. Increase the mixer speed to med-low and knead until the dough is smooth and elastic, about 10 minutes (If after 5 minutes the dough still looks really sticky, add the remaining ¼ cup of flour, 1 tbl at a time, until the dough clears the side of the bowl but still sticks to the bottom).

3. Turn the dough onto a clean counter and knead by hand to more a smooth, round ball (about 1 minute). Place the dough in a lightly oiled (vegetable or canola) bowl and wrap tightly with plastic wrap. Let rise in a warm place until doubled in size, about 1 to 1½ hours. 

Trick: If your house is cold or drafty, my favorite thing to do is place the dough in the oven with only the oven light turned on, that works wonders!

For the monkey bread:

1. Lightly grease a large tube or bundt pan with butter. Combine the butter and vanilla in a shallow bowl. Toss the sugars, nuts, cinnamon and salt together in a separate bowl, then spread out over a rimmed baking sheet.

2. Turn the dough out onto a clean counter, divide it into 36 even pieces, and cover with plastic wrap. Working with one piece of dough at a time, rough into a tight ball. Roll the balls in the butter mixture, then roll in the cinnamon sugar to coat and arrange evenly in the prepared pan. Drizzle any remaining butter and sugar mixture over the top. Wrap tightly in plastic wrap and let rise in a warm place until doubled in size, 1 to 2 hours.

Pre-heat the oven to 350°F. Bake the monkey break until golden, 40 minutes.

Let cool in the pan for 10 minutes, then use an offset spatula or knife to loosen the edges of the bread from the pan. Flip out onto a serving platter, but be very careful because that caramel is HOT. Let it cool slightly before serving.

Lemon Meringue Pie and Perfect Pie Crust

Lemon Meringue Pie

Prep Time: 5 min (filling) + pie crust

Total Time: 1 hour + cooling

Serves: 8

Ingredients:

Filling 

1½ c cold water

1 c sugar

¼ c cornstarch

1/8 tsp salt

6 large egg yolks

1 tbl grated lemon zest

½ c fresh lemon juice (3 lemons)

2 tbl butter

Meringue 

1/3 c water

1 tbl cornstarch

4 large egg whites

½ tsp vanilla

 ½ c sugar

¼ tsp cream of tartar

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees

2. For the filling: Combine the water, sugar, cornstarch and salt in a large saucepan over med heat and bring to a simmer while whisking constantly. When the mixture starts to turn translucent, whisk in the egg yolks, 2 at a time (crack them all into a glass measuring cup so you can just pour them in easily). Whisk in the lemon zest, then the lemon juice, and finally the butter. Return the mixture to a full simmer, then remove the pan from the heat. Lay a sheet of plastic wrap flush to the surface of the filling to keep it hot, and stop a film from developing.

3. For the meringue: bring the water and cornstarch to a simmer in a small saucepan over medium-high heat, whisking frequently. When the mixture turns translucent and begins to bubble, remove from the heat.

4. Whip the egg whites and vanilla in a large bowl on low speed until froathy. Mix the sugar and cream of tartar together, then add it to the egg whites, 1 tbl at a time. Increase the speed to medium and whip the egg whites until soft peaks form. Add the cooked cornstarch mixture to the whipped egg whites, 1 tbl at a time, and continue to whip the egg whites until they are glossy and form stiff peaks.

5. Remove the plastic from the lemon curd. Pour the hot filling into a baked, cooled pie crust, then spread the meringue over the top. Make sure the meringue touches the crust all the way around the edges to stop it from shrinking at it cools. Use the back of a spoon to make cute peaks, then bake it for 15 or 20 minutes until the meringue is golden brown.

Perfect Pie Crust

Prep Time: 5 minutes

Total Time: 35 minutes

Makes: 2 (10") crusts

Ingredients:

12 tbsp very cold butter

3 c flour

1 tsp kosher salt (regular salt is ok too, but only use ¾ tsp)

1 tbl sugar

1/3 c very cold vegetable shortening

6 to 8 tbsp ice water

Directions:

1. Put the flour, salt and sugar in a food processor and pulse a couple of times to mix it up. Top with the butter (cut into tbsp size pieces) and shortening (cut into thirds), and pulse 8 to 12 times, until the butter is the size of peas.

2. With the machine running (I keep my finger on the pulse button), gradually pour the ice water (not the ice though) down the feed tube, and pulse until the dough begins to form a ball.

3. Dump out onto a floured board, split in have and roll into a ball, then flatten into a disk. Wrap each disk in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 30 minutes.

For Blind Baking:

1. Preheat your oven to 450 degrees

2. Roll out one of your disks of dough (per pie) to an 11" or 12" circle. Roll up around your rolling pin, then unroll over your pie plate. Trim the dough so that you have a ½" overhang. Fold the overhang under the edge of the crust, then crimp the edge. Poke all over with a fork, cover with foil, and place in the freezer for 10 minutes.

3. Fill the pie crust (leaving the foil in place) with pie weights or dry beans (you can reuse the beans over and over again, but don't cook to eat).

4. Bake for 15 minutes, then remove the foil and weights / beans and continue baking for another 10 minutes until golden in colour.

5. Let cool on a wire rack for future use.

The best oatmeal chocolate chip cookies you, your Momma, your Grandma and your Grandma's Daddy ever tasted!

Seriously. The title can not lie (it's like incapable or some shit).

I had been on the hunt for YEARS (really, close to a decade) for the best oatmeal chocolate chip cookie because it's Bo's favourite and he really doesn't ask for much. I thought that I had it, Bo always requested it, the guys at his work always looked forward to them. They were the shit. Until I tasted Jen's (my cousin via Bo). She kicked my cookies ass to the curb, stomped on them a bit, dug her heel and and spit while she was walking away. The abuse was rough, I'm surprised she didn't need a cigarette afterwords. Anyway, here's Jen's recipe, which she actually got in a high school home-ed class (go figure).

Don't doubt it by the ingredients, just make them. You'll never go back.

Shakespeare Cookies (Oatmeal Chocolate Chip)

Prep Time: 5 minutes

Bake Time: 12 - 15 minutes

Makes: 2 dozen cookies

Ingredients:

1/2 cup butter, softened

1/2 cup white sugar

1/2 cup brown sugar

1 egg

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

3/4 cup flour

1 cup rolled oats

1 cup rice crispy cereal

1/4 c chocolate chips

Directions:

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Prep two baking sheets with parchment paper or your sil-pat mat's.

2. Cream the butter and sugar, add the egg, and beat until combined.

3. Add the baking powder, baking soda, salt and flour and beat until no dry flour is left. Add the rolled oats, rice crispy cereal and chocolate chips and mix until combined.

4. Place cookies with about 1½ inches between them (I get 12 per sheet). Bake for about 12 minutes, until the cookies are a nice golden brown around the edges, and light brown in the center. Turn the sheet half way through baking to avoid overcooking or under cooking a side beside of hot spots in your oven.

5. Let the cookies cool on the sheet for a few minutes, then move to a cooling rack.

Enjoy!

Porcupine Balls and Apple Crisp

Porcupine Balls

Ignore the name, they're just meatballs with rice in them that puffs out the sides, hence the "porcupine" moniker. This is a family favourite, passed down to me from my Nana, but I've tweaked it a lot over the last 4 years and finally have a perfected recipe. Enjoy

Prep time: 15 minutes

Bake time: 1 hour

Server: 5 to 6

Ingredients (measurements are a little rough, but this part is very hard to screw up)

Meatballs:

1lb lean ground beef

1 large handful rice

1/2 cup Italian breadcrumbs (or regular breadcrumbs with Italian seasoning mixed in)

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp pepper

2 tbl milk

Mix all above ingredients in a bowl with your hands until very well combined. The mixture will feel a little wet, but not dripping. If you think it's too wet you can add a bit more breadcrumbs. Roll into meatballs, I usually do them the size of a ping pong ball, and place them into an oven safe baking dish (yeah corning ware).

Sauce:

3 cans tomato soup

2/3 tomato soup can of beef broth

1/2 tomato soup can of water

1/3 c rice

Whisk together all sauce ingredients in the bowl that you mixed the meatballs in (this will grab any of the little bits left behind. Pour the sauce over the meatballs, then spin the meatballs around a bit to cover them in the sauce.

Cover the dish with foil and bake for 1 hour in a 425 degree oven. Serve this up with bread to dip in the leftover sauce and you're laughing! Leftovers are fantastic the next day for lunch too! 

 What's left of our porcupine balls. I was hungry, so no photos until we entered leftover territory.

Apple Crisp

Prep time: 20 minutes

Bake time: 45 minutes

Serves: 8

This is by far the best apple crisp I've ever had, another of my perfected recipes! Bo and I like lots of topping though, so if you don't you're weird you can cut it in half.

Ingredients:

10 medium apples, peeled, cored and sliced thinly

1 cup white sugar

1 tablespoon all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/8 tsp nutmeg

1/4 cup water

Put the apple slices into a large oven safe dish (I use a 9" x 13" corning ware). Whisk together the sugar, flour, cinnamon and nutmeg. Pour the sugar mixture over the apples, then toss to evenly coat. Pour the water over the apples, do not mix. (If you like your apple crisp more juicy, you can up the water to 1/3 or even 1/2 a cup without ruining the crisp, I just prefer mine only a little juicy, with apples that still have some bite).

2 c quick-cooking oats

2 c all-purpose flour

2 c packed light brown sugar

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

1 cup butter, melted

Whisk together everything except the butter so it's well combined. Pour the butter over the mixture and combine with a fork or your hands (which is way faster), until there are no dry bits left and it comes together is small clumps in your hands. Evenly sprinkle the topping over the apple mixture.

Bake, uncovered, in a 350 degree oven for 45 minutes until brown on top and bubbling at the edges. Let cool slightly, and enjoy!