Monday blues

Well, week two of work had started and it was actually, somehow, harder then week one for me. I don't know what I had convinced myself of subconsciously, but my mind was not up for going to work for another week. Especially with Oliver sick. Thankfully, Nana's coming to watch him today (and tomorrow), so at least that's not an issue.

Bo got to leave late today because he had a meeting at 11 in Owen Sound, so  he didn't have to leave our house until 8. Nana showed up at 7:15, with plenty of time for Bo to go over where everything was, and thankfully, Oliver woke up without a fever today, so it FINALLY broke!

Work was work, I had a meeting that kept being pushed back and didn't end up starting until 3, so I was lucky to get our when I did I 4:15. I fear tomorrow will be another story, with possible meetings all day. Boo.

Traffic was a little rough on the way home, but I made it worse by getting off the 400. I hope I've finally learned my lesson there.

I jumped into Sobey's to pick up some fresh bread (Italian for Bo and a baguette and pesto for Nana and I, yumm), then I was finally home, around 5:45. I was lucky Nana was there and staying over night because it made it so much easier to get everything done that I needed to. It sucked not taking that first hour to play with Oliver  like normal though, and I think he felt the same because he kept crawling over to me. Now I'm missing him and feeling like an asshole for not putting dinner aside to play with him last night. Damn.

Ok, anyway, first I made the porcupine balls and got them in the oven. Next I made the apple crisp and then got it in the oven. Then it was time to put away Oliver's laundry (which Nana did during the day), and get Bo and my laundry going. By the time I'd done that dinner was done so I took it out of the oven to cool for a minute,  and took that time to get the pesto bread made and cooking, and to mix up some berry juice from the freezer. While I was doing all this, Oliver conked out, taking a much needed nap.

Dinner was absolutely fantastic, and we were actually able to eat at the table for 7:30, so Nana made it upstairs for 8 to watch Lie to Me. I cleaned up the kitchen (with a bit of help from Bo, who so sweetly pointed out that I'm much more productive at the house while working then I was during my mat leave. How I didn't throat punch him I'll never know), put the first load of laundry away, and then made it upstairs to play with Oliver for 30 minutes with Bo. I even got to watch the last 20 minutes of Big Bang Theory, a nice break.

At 10 we started getting everything ready for bed, finally hitting the pillow at 10:30. I had a hunch that Oliver wouldn't sleep well though (just a gut feeling), and he didn't, waking up from 12:30 until almost 2, he cycled between Bo, me and Nana. I think he just didn't eat quite enough today.

I honestly don't know how I'm doing this. I hate going to work every day and leaving my little guy at home or at daycare. I really hate that I wasn't the one home with him his first sick day due to fever. I swear on my life it won't happen again. I know that I'm doing it because I have to, but my heart and my mind aren't in it at all. I just keep counting down until September when we'll start trying to conceive again, knowing that after a second year off with my babies I'll be staying home for good, doing what I have to do to be able to afford it. I hope that Oliver understands, and I hope that he's not missing out on anything by going to daycare. He likes it so much part of me worries that he'll be missing out on more when I'm a stay at home mom. I'm going to have to become a bloody president of the local mom's club to keep him around other kids.